Does Love Have To Be Sexual?
We all love someone, at some time in our lives. The question is, what is love? Is it the same thing as adoration? Is it the same feeling as adulation? Are we confusing love with affection? What is true love?
According to my research, there are three basic areas of human psychology that most of us agree on. Those areas are pleasure, affection, and romance. Most people would say that they have a general liking for something. For instance, one might say that they have a special fondness or love for chocolate. That is a type of affection. They might say that they have romantic love like a father, mother, or significant other.
However, there are other types of love. Love could be caring, friendship, desire, and intimacy. The area of romance covers the more physical and sexual aspects of affection. Romantic love encompasses those more intense emotional and physical feelings that are involved with falling in love with another person.
One could liken love to a light bulb. It is the energy field around something that generates an attractive potential. When that attraction becomes actual, then that light bulb turns on. There is a very close connection between the chemistry between two people and the chemistry in their relationship. That is why most relationships go stale after one partner leaves and the other partner likewise decides to leave. It is because of that chemistry and attraction that love keeps flowing back and forth between two people in a relationship.
Passion is different. It is similar to the light bulb analogy. However, instead of turning on when the relationship gets hot, it goes off when things get cold. This makes passion less likely to occur and also less likely to last. A great deal of passionate love occurs between people who are really in love with one another but often involves intense feelings.
Another positive emotion is happiness. This emotion takes us into a state of contentment knowing that we have another person in our life. Positive feelings and passion would not make us stay in a relationship if it did not bring us satisfaction. Positive emotions such as happiness, joy, and hope to make us better partners and not just sleep together.
Not all loving feelings are necessarily sexual in nature. I remember as a child going to the park and getting hurt by a stray dog biting me. I would associate this event with my happiness and affection for another person. Even though the incident occurred years ago, the memory of it would remind me of my happy feelings for this person and would push me to want to be around them. I might say that my attraction to my best friend was sexual in nature but it was the feelings of love and friendship that kept me together.
In conclusion, most of our love is based upon feelings. Sexual attraction might be an important component of some relationships but it certainly does not have to be. The more important ingredient in any relationship is friendliness, compassion and hope. These are the feelings that create the emotional bond and the bond that create the loving and affectionate feelings.